— Sonam Chhomo

Some of the fiercest women I know belong to the valley of Lahaul.

Be it in terms of stating their claim to divorce or holding their will to live as a single woman in Himachal Pradesh, these women have shaped and gained this superior sense of being through the valley’s own culture of women empowerment.

The valley of Lahaul-Spiti has often been regarded as one of the safest places for the girl-child and women development in comparison to the rest of our neighbouring regions in Himachal Pradesh. The valley often boasts of having lenient or no rules and regulations regarding dowry and marriage systems. In fact, in certain valleys within Lahaul, the Bride and her Family receive money and land at the time of marriage.

During the marriage ceremony, women and men have different compartment like spaces where they can enjoy the locally-brewed chhang without any interference from the elders or male figures of the community. Naturally through certain customs and traditions, the locally-brewed chhang has become part of their systems and structures. Consumption of alcohol is not considered a taboo, instead it is used as part of many ceremonies and rituals and is consumed by both men and women at an equal rate.

The society structure cannot be placed under one system per se as our society does not necessarily follow a patriarchal or a matriarchal system; we do not even inherit the names from a male elder and don’t feel the need to use our Family name in official papers. This is generally because most of the people belonging to the sTodpa valley of Lahaul follow a form of Tibetan Buddhism and worship the valley’s local Gods. Hence, we do not follow a caste system, although a certain level of class distinction is surely noticeable among the community members. Thus, there is a certain gender-neutrality which is established through these customs. 

In the light of this background, it would be worth mentioning the fact that families in Lahaul do not discriminate in giving land or property rights to women. As a tradition,though, they do follow a strict rule of adherence to the commands of the eldest in the house. Regardless of gender identity, it is the eldest of the siblings who holds the decisions of the family and their systems; from domestic household to agricultural production. 

On the contrary, we do not look at a woman as someone’s spouse but as an individual. In this day and age, when the modern ceases to travel back to century-old restrictions, it is cultures like these which could become as basis for reform. Yes, there are other aspects too to our culture which might be considered as felonious by some, but it is also these distinctions which make us unique in our approaches towards the world and outsiders too!

If I could mention a few words about the women I know from this side of the World, then I would term one of them as the strongest of them all. She was someone who had the power to reject a marriage proposal; someone who held her right to stay as a single woman in the house. Yes, she was then supposed to take care of the house and her parents but it was something out of her own choice. Women in Lahaul usually have the choice to become a Jomo (a nun), but they are never forced to not stay at Home. On one of the few fateful days of conversations I had with her, she explained how the top priority in life should not be marriage, but attainment of financial independence. I think many of us from the younger generation can understand this very well, but for words to come from an illiterate, agricultural family born in the 80s, these were her words of wisdom and possibly a modern form of enlightenment. 

Perhaps this culture has taught us some things which have placed a deep impact on our behavior and our everyday interactions with people from outside the community. There is a certain kind of flow that is fueled by social interactions and migration to other cities. Along with some of its positive effects, there is also this anxiety which lurks within some of us; the anxiety of losing some of these gender-neutral customs and practices to the male-chauvinistic change in thought and subsequently practice. The manner in which each one of us has adapted a dual name system; one Hindu and the other Buddhist in order to adapt to the culture of Kullu district, I wonder if this anxiety, in a process, will emerge in its true form.

It is these anxieties which further compel us to preserve these traditions and customs in the form of writing, blogging and various other art forms.

It is this certain kind of appreciation and attention which will help the locals too, to realize that their traditions and customs are something worth caring for!